How to grow old the hard way – 10 failsafe tips



It has just hit me that I live in  cocoon of people who talk about their interests, their travels, their lives, their work, their friends and although we are all of us  aging, I cannot recall that we talk about it much as a topic of conversation, we have so much else to talk about. However, during a recent night out, I realized that one can spend a lot of time talking about lost youth and that this for me just serves to make me miserable, so here are my tips for how to grow older the hard way:

1) Lament the lost days of your youth

2)  Observe yourself critically in the neon light of a restaurant restroom while telling yourself that 20 years ago that same light made you look great (let me tell you something it didn’t)

3) Wear the same style of clothes you wore at 20 because you want to show the world you haven’t gained weight  – (they are out of style and this makes you look desperate)

4) Wear the clothes today’s 20 year olds are wearing, or swap clothes with your daughter – imagine a 50-year-old in the clothes the young woman in the title photo (at la rinascente in Milano) is wearing and you get my point

5) Talk about your wrinkles and how fat you are while out for dinner with friends for the most part of the evening – (it is an immensely boring topic for all concerned)

6) Focus your sense of self-worth on external criteria instead of celebrating how much you have grown as a person (hopefully this last is true)

7) Get a face-lift/lip job – if you are surrounded by women who do this you may not realize how scary women with lifted faces frequently look when they leave their natural habitat, i.e travel to unlifted continents…..

8) Giggle and pout  and simper when out with your girlfriends from 20 years ago in an attempt to hang on to a time that is gone

9) Take pleasure in other people’s misfortunes/ make fun of their small dreams the way you might have done when you were a small-minded teenager to make yourself feel superior

10) Obsessively compare the size of your house, car, price of your holidays, education of your children, number of grandchildren with everyone else s to see how well you have done in life

This is not to say that you should burn your bras, let it all hang out, cut your hair in the shape of a helmet with the kitchen shears and just sit in a corner and wait to die, instead  see  Hip in Milan   and celebrate your friends and all that you have learned in life and experienced that makes you who you are today. So my dear friends at Fiesta Friday,  ( a party hosted by indomitable Angie over at the Novice gardener, for all of you who do not know) what are your thoughts, do you agree, am I a miserable judgemental old biddy? Do you believe peering in the mirror and gently lifting your cheeks to remind you how your face used to look makes you happier? What do the gents out there have to say about this?

All comments welcome as always, you know you have an opinion on this, I’d love to hear it!

20 thoughts on “How to grow old the hard way – 10 failsafe tips

  1. Welcome to Fiesta Friday, Poli! Oh… you must have been listening in on my 29 year old daughter Katie and my conversation today. I’m 52 years old…and so very tired of feeling so inferior to all of the pretty skinny girls. She and I were out shopping…and I just felt like an old frump today. I came home, went online and bought myself a new hat and a new sundress! Tomorrow I’m going to try to find a new color lipstick..hopefully that will mask all of the wrinkles and sags and bags that have seem to have cropped up overnight!
    Wonderful post! You’ve made me feel so much better! Thank you so much for some seriously true/funny thoughts… 🙂

    • hello BBB – first off I went to have a look at your profile photo, you have a beautiful face, with wonderful mouth and a sincere, kind, gentle and open expression that looks funloving too, I wager a bet that when you were 22 you were not as confident and calm as you are now – that said I understand how you feel, I need to get a new identity card and the last one has a photo taken when I was 32 and I look blemishless and blameless and just pretty cute, although back then I never would have thought that, and now oh well. But as I wrote, there is really no point dwelling on things we cannot change. Comes down to the serentiy prayer, the courage to change what I can, teh courage to accept what I cannot and the wisdom to tell the difference. But I know it isnt always easy, congrats on the new hat and sundress 🙂 Poli

    • Are you serious Prudy?! I cannot believe you are 52! I had pegged you the same age as me – 32!! Though I just realise your children are grown up so that might be impressive, but anyway, from your photo that’s what I thought! And you are beautiful! I hope the new outfit is lovely! x

  2. Great post Poli– #6 is my favorite– the older we are (and I’m must past the mentioned 50)– the more we should find our joy in growth, in things learned, in deepening relationships… I’m never going to be mistaken for a 30 year old so I’ll just be the best version of 62 I can muster!

    • hi there – I agree it is my favourite too, I think there is so much we experience as we get older and so much we learn that there is much to celebrate! thanks as always for commenting

      • Hi Rhonda – loves your too, my partner told me this was a miserable and unfun post with no humour, maybe that is true, it just seemed so sad to me to spend time thinking about those golden days of ones youth that when one was young one didnt necessarily enjoy so much -:) maybe I will blog about them 🙂 have a lovely evening Poli

      • That’s interesting– “the grass is always greener.” I would say in general, it’s easier to be happy now than when I was 20– perspective…

  3. It is not easy this getting older thing. My knees are starting to go funny and that is not funny at all. And the some days I think , well what the hell, catch me if you can….

    • I agree it is not easy it is frustrating some days and even though I know enough to be grateful for health etc etc I still wish sometimes that in the mornings I looked a bit more dewy faced but what can one do

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